Mommy Angel

A/N: So the muse went a different way then I wanted. Italics = flashbacks, I hope that makes it less confusing.
Hope you like! It really is a little sad, don't hate me

“I ready to go!”

Sparkling brown orbs had the ability to cause her the most beautiful kind of pain…to make her heart swell and break at the same time. There were years in her eyes, memories made before she had graced them with her presence. Sometimes it was almost too much to bear…times when the mischief danced in her gaze so much like her mother’s that she began to ache all over…Or the crooked grin, hands on her hips attitude that couldn’t help but make her sad and angry for everything they were robbed of. It was those times when she pulled her close praying that she could protect her from any more pain…to keep the shadows in the dark away…exorcise the demons in a way she could never help her daughter do.

“Ma-ma, no more kissies for the baby”

It shouldn’t be her…she shouldn’t be the one peppering kisses on the sandy blond head, or hearing the squeal of excitement at a well tickled belly. Mama…it is an inaccurate description but one she doesn’t know how to take away from a child that doesn’t understand why she can’t call her Mama too. Instead she smiles sweetly and apologizes later to the rightful owner of the title.

“DADDY!”

His blue eyes crinkle with an abject joy she has never seen in him until the day he held her in his arms. She was their miracle, something that defied logic and science and was prayed for long before she ever enter her mother’s womb. It was fate her coming exactly when they needed her most…healing the aftermath of broken hearts and unanswered prayers. She was her mother’s angel and daddy’s pride and joy…and she was her proof that a love like theirs never truly died.

“Can I hold the flowers?”

The crunch of snow under Barbie pink boots makes her smile even as the tears come to life on her cheeks. The pathway was a familiar one…twice a week for three years, four months, two days. There were twenty six trees from the gate to their destination. The creek that ran along the pathway was iced over now and as they made it through the trees she was kneeling down wiping away the snow with her hand.

“Hello Mommy Angel”

“I need to talk to you”
She sat down cautiously, “Okay”
“No, it’s not bad”
“Oh, well then”
“I’m pregnant” she said the smile hitting her ears in a way she had never seen before.
The words didn’t completely sink in, “What?” she managed to stammer out.
“Congratulations, you’re going to be a grandmother”

“And then Daddy took me to Alaska to visit Nana and we had tea and crunkets”


“Wait, I’m happy for you” she said after releasing her from the vice grip hug, “But, what? I mean you aren’t dating anyone, are you?”
“You’re asking who the father is?”
“Well, if you feel comfortable, then yes”
“Jax”
“As in Jasper, my best friend, blond, blue eyes, body of an Adonis Jax?”
That got a slight chuckle, “Yes, and before you freak out…we didn’t, yeah, but we agreed to do this together. I could have gone anonymously but Jax wants to be a father as much as I want to be a mother and we both agree that a child is better off with two parents…so we’re doing this together” she said her hands waving around as she rambled on a bit.
Nodding she pulled her lip in between her teeth as her hands covered the smaller ones, “If you’re happy, I’m happy”
“Good because I’m really, really happy” she said tears sliding down her face.

“I love you Mommy Angel”

The beige of the walls seemed to be closing in on her as she waited outside the room; the dark haired baby in her arms. She had held Sam in her arms after her birth for only a moment but her face was emblazoned in her brain for the rest of her life. The gurgling infant could have been an exact replica.
“You look so much like your mommy, yes you do” she said trying to fill the quiet that threatened to squeeze the life from her heart.
Robin walked out and she prepared herself for the words, “The surgery went well but we won’t know anything until the tests come back, but you can go in now”
Her dark hair was splayed across the pillow as she smiled sleepily, “There’s my girl”
Alexis lay the pink bundle next to her, “You feeling okay?”
“Better now”

“Goodbye Samantha”

“Don’t make me do this Sam”
“Mom”
It was then she knew it was serious…mom…a word only uttered on holiday’s and days when she’s asking you to promise to take care of her daughter when she dies.
“Daniela needs you when I’m…gone” she said tears welling up.
Alexis wrapped her arms around her tiny body, “I promise, I promise to love her everyday and remind her how much her Mommy loved her”
“I’m scared; I don’t want to leave her”
“I know”
“But I’m glad she is going to have you…I know I never told you this, but you are a really amazing mother”
Breathing in the fresh jasmine shampoo she let the salty tears wet her lips, “And you are an amazing daughter”

“Mommy, Daddy, let’s go!”

Jax propped his head up off the pillow, “Yes, Mommy, let’s go”
“Mommy is sleeping” she said pulling the pillow over her face.
“DJ, you want to come help me wake Mommy up?”
“YAY!” she said bursting in the door, Molly at her heels.
Soon two bodies were jumping on the bed as Kristina stood in the doorway, “Hurry up, I don’t want to be late” she ordered.
Throwing them off the bed she grumbled, “Okay, I’m coming, get out so mommy can change”
As they closed the door Jax sat his head on her shoulder, “Do you need help”
Swatting his hand away, “Not if we want to be on time”
“Did you ever think it would be like this?”
Alexis closed her eyes as his lips met her bare shoulder, “No” she said the happy and the sad running as one.

OoO

“And today we dedicate the Samantha McCall Oncology Wing to General Hospital”
Jax’s hands slid into hers and squeezed. Getting up she walked to the marble plaque, the light shining off of it, “Up mama”
Picking her up Daniela looked towards the sky, “Mommy Angel”
“Yes, Mommy Angel” Alexis whispered feeling the sunlight warm her face.
It was funny because for her love began and ended with a tiny pink bundle.

Lex, that made my cry. But, I loved it